Fennie is here!

Sigh

2012-02-11T00:43:00.002+08:00

Decided to stop studying since I have no mood, literally. Nothing seems to be going in my head.

I ended semester with a good one, with week 15 daily grades that awesome for the very first time. Reflections for the past semester was I gotta admit I initially didnt get adapted to the class and wasnt use to the way everyone is doing things, because everything is just so different. HOWEVER IM SO GLAD, THAT I MANAGED TO ACCEPT CHANGES IN THE END AND IM LOVING THIS CLASS<3 Really had awesome times with them.

Overall UT 2 grades came out, one improved a little and one dropped alot, how demoralising that was, thought i studied, was it due to complacent or really careless mistakes, sigh. I need to pick myself up and work harder but I got slacker, no longer motivated had been staying strong for too long I guess, I am tired and I want a break a really long break, without any worries.

Had been giving myself high expectations, and had been enlightened " having high expectations is good ,but then dun give urself too much pressure if you cant achieve it" &
"my teacher use to tell me aim higher so that even if you cant hit ur aim at least u wont fall back too much" I thought, probably i have been giving myself too much pressure, as I want to make my parents proud despite going to that school I want to show them i can excel and of course for the sake of my future.

Im tired, shag both physically and mentally. At times like this I just feel like breaking down, and dont do anything, really. Yeah so I am awaiting for this march holiday

March to do list is long:
1. Pri sch reunion
2. Sec school clique gathering
3. Band junior meet up
4. Part time job
5. Volunteer work at spastic

Good night, readers:D I bet I have none!

When will it ever be my turn? I should stop thinking about it because it will never happen anyway. Uncontrollable feelings. iW ISH i HAVE THE COURAGE.

Starting to Doubt myself

2012-02-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

I received an email today, about passing the first round of getting scholarship and next I will need to go through interview and more.

I start to doubt myself, whether I can make it or not. Firstly, my grades are dropping afterall I didnt really manage my time well between moving house and UT, so UT2 to me was kind of failure. Secondly, I am supposed to commit but my laziness started when I moved to tanah merah. With all these shits, I start to doubt myself.

Forget about that, I have promised myself to buck up for UT3 to attain the scholarship, I wanna make my parents proud of me still, despite being coming to this schoool which they are disappointed.

Next, is coming to end of semester 2, I started enjoy the times in this class, but indeed I did not find a girl bestie like I could in semester 1. But nonetheless, sem 2 class are great and I kind of feeling rather unhappy these few days that nextweek will be our last time having lessons together. Yeah so gonna bring camera and snap, snap and snap! These memories shall be kept, to look at in future:)

Shall end of here, I will be back probably after UT 3:)

2012-01-26T22:52:00.002+08:00

Shall blog before I slp, the sudden feel of typing.

For the past weeks, Had been trying hard to manage my time between UT and moving house and really I had a hard and tough time doing that, therefore Im thankful for being in this school that make me feel the importance of time management.

Is cny period yet we only have 2 days, is definitely not enough for my family, visiting not done, people wish to visit. And we have school on the 3rd day of cny, what's life :( It is our 2nd cny without her, recently journey to school has been rather long is the period of reflection again.
Went to temple to pray to her and this inconsiderate people just don't let us pray and I was frustrated and utter nonsense, I asked myself what the hell was I doing after uttering that nonsense about, I feel like stabbing myself after doing that, I don't think I deserved her blessings. I am sorry sister, but I cant do anything to repent my mistakes, I wish you will appear in my dream so that I can see you again and I wish to see your laughter once again but again is all these possible?

I miss those times when I am back i will see you lying on the mattress smiling,to show that you know our presence when we are back. But apparently I didnt apperciate it when you were with us. Why didn't i?! :'( It is the third year and I really can't let go, i told myself to accept the fact, but sometimes hearing people passing away or passing by the hospital or seeing people that has same situation as you, my heart will just ache. Time will heal all wounds? Apparently not.

People not cherishing your family members is a grave mistake, that will lead to GUILT, PAIN, REGRETS. Prove with your actions instead of words, simple actions will do. I gotta be frank, I a really afraid of losing my loved ones, it is too painful to handle the loss of them.

Next, money goes all around the world. I probably live in a rather good situation, that I do not worry about anything, clothes food everything. So i have this auntie who look for us only when they need sales for their products and now uncle gets cancer she did not informed us anything but yet we heard from someone else. The point is, she once told my dad, " we are siblings anything should inform and tell each other" nonsense isnt it? Apparently after having enough sales, she doesn't even bother us? Is this karma? At the same time, yes Im deeply worried about his condition actually, as I have a cousin who lost her mum due to breast cancer. Cancer is a killer. It is 2012, I have learnt many things throughout my growing stage, experiencing many things.

LEARN TO CHERISH, APPERCIATE WHAT YOU HAVE.

Shall end off here:)

2011-12-10T21:14:00.002+08:00

Watched New Year's eve with Victor, Nas and Serene yesterday after BS lesson, fun time with them:D As usual Bs lesson ended early and currently it is 4 hours block lesson:)

Yeah, I had this same situation as the lady in the movie, after so long then she managed to complete her new year resolutions. Oh yes I made this new year resolution since 2 years ago and up till now I have not done I am still dragging. Is either I do not want commit or finding excuses to avoid it? Okay this new year resolution is to volunteer at Spastic school. I shall not drag anymore longer and do it in my next year holiday and hopefully with junior.

Will be back soon:)

Can't sleep

2011-12-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

The thought of bloggin before I sleep when actually i could not.

Anw I had an awesome fantastic day with family today<3 but the thought that I had skipped SCM makes me wonder does it gives a bad name?

Okay that's not the main point, I was watching charity show with grandpa this afternoon and they will screening spastic school, the thought of my sister came to my mind. And I thought I had wanted to volunteer in her school but had not do so since last year and really wish to do it to ease the pain at least, I hope. At the same time I felt like tearing, in the first place what the hell I was thinking for the past few years. A really heartless person I can be. When I was young I used to think, how will I feel when someone in my family passed away and I had lots of wild imagination, never did I know that it occur me in 2009, the loss of my late sister was a painful one, filled with regrets and guilt. Through this, the definition of cherishing your loved ones to me has became so clear. And yes from then on, family are my priorties.

Nonetheless, whenever I saw friends, strangers tweeting or facebooking about how irritating their parents or family members could be etc, I will just get pissed literally. Probably they have not realised the importance of family members but as i thought further imagine if your parents see this, wont they feel hurt even more. Moreover, parents nag or say us like being lazy etc, is because of our past behaviour that makes them feel this way, so in the end the one at fault isn't it supposed to be ourselves. Just like I used to be so lazy, so after coming poly when I told my parents I need to study or revise for test, they didn't believe me till grades was out, all what you need to do is gain their trust back but not speaking behind their backs and complainning how naggy and why are they like this. This is probably one of the important lessons I learnt.

Everyone has judged someone before in their life and usually is based on past experiences and the action you have seen resulting in someone judging another. Prove your parents wrong, about what they had said you instead of complaining will be a better way:) It definitely improve relationships too:D

Hanging on

2011-12-03T18:56:00.002+08:00

Trying to hang on there when at times I really want to give up, upon reaching this stage of education I met alot difficulties and sometimes family won't be able to understand how tough the journey I am going through and thus hurting my feelings here and there, yes and one day I did break down. There is just part of it, when family are the greatest of all, they are the one who support me through the years, making me happy a

This is just part of our life journey where everyone will meet their obstacles. So Im hanging on there to study and revise for UT despite the temptation to watch drama, Hanging on there to try to acheive good daily grades despite bias-ness of some facilitators. Hanging on there to face certain people that I do not wish to face at all.

I have a goal by end of year is to graduate with diploma with MERIT and yes is important to me, like when I come to this school everybody is like looking down on me, so trying to prove them wrong, that I can succeed in whatever environment I am in. But I have a problem here, I got to particpate actively in IG? And which is so difficult for me since staying far away from school. But im gonna try my best anw:)

Okay back to revision!

Cherish

2011-12-02T23:28:00.002+08:00

Each time I read this blog http://ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com/ my late sister will come to my mind and the thought of not cherishing her, leading to guilt, regrets still hurts alot up to date, even though it had been 2 years going to 3 years. People say : Time will heal all wounds I wish it really could.

I have a wish that will nvr fufilled which is seeing her again. I shall stop here today really need to start revising.

Rantings

2011-12-02T22:04:00.007+08:00

Gonna blog before revising for marketing UT, I guess I never mention this before in this blog UT-Understanding test

Okay I am back to blogger to update as I feel more comfortable in updating here rather than tumblr. Currently leading a hectic life. Self-praise but this is true I become more hardworking after coming to RP.

I used to be a lazy bum who hates to do studying, yeah everyday facing the desktop facebooking before O's etc. IT IS ONLY WHEN I RECEIVED MY O'S RESULTS I came and woke up to a realization that I cannot be like this anymore, because I am like wasting my time away, so after stepping into RP life changes ALOT, really ALOT.

I started my semester 1 rather good and ending my semester 1 with a good and satisfied GPA though it can be better, semester 1 had also been hectic but I had endure through with a bestie, she nvr fails to support me, motivate me so Im really glad to have her, in fact since the starting of semester 1 my attitude towards studies has changed for the better as I don't wish to waste time. I had lost my chance of entering early childhood, my dream course, I do not wish to have anymore regrets and wanna enter local university by end of year 3 , proudly graduating from RP, and I believe I can do it too.

Here the start of semester 2, yeah I had a bad start, I hate changing environment constantly and I got to re adapt again and yes the different personalities and everything is different. The way they work was different too, I could not adjusted and dislike it so I remain quiet for weeks and finally start become opening and in time to come I am adjusting to the environment having a few awesome classmates that Im slowly close with. I have so much complaints about semester 2 the modules, facilitators etc and I know I should no be complaining much since it was like my "consequence". . Im glad to say that is week 9 and six more weeks to go:)

Anyway I think I am grateful for school of who am I now. As the difficulties I face has made me stronger and stronger, but at times going to depression mood and I will just break down. On top of that, grooming wise, I guess I have changed too. I have gone through that much and is gonna be end of semester 2 in six weeks time and I believe I can endure this to year 3. I would like to thank opportunites given in SLC especially and chit chat session telling me how to get diploma with merit etc all these really help.

2010-06-04T21:50:00.002+08:00

YESTERDAY WAS WONDERFUL!

updating in a childish manner but i think it is memeories at least 10 years down the road i read this i rmb haha:)

yesterday had 'class' outing haha
Me mingyue jenn ju adela eka diego jasper aik leong zengyi and gordon:)
we went all the way to orchard just to watch the movie killer an english movie with no subtitle which means i wont understand some part.. my mum scold me crazy
overall it was ok though not interesting..
then we went down to bugis for arcade lol! and we played like till 8 plus then dinner at nine

dinner is the fun part that i enjoyed although food wasnt delicious
but then chatting and playing truth is indeed fun after meal=)
haha secrets yay! LOL

end of post cause i gonna play the truth again but this time online!:))

2010-05-08T20:30:00.003+08:00

back again..
disasterous month for last year will it be better this year?

langugae papers SS and maths paper 1

language paper was damm freaking diff paper 1 was okay it was the paper 2 that killed me...
ss it was the source based that killed me and maths i just lose freaking 20 marks..
i can still blog here when next week that is chem bio geog amaths freak mann.. i really cannot stand exams just cannot wait for november to come too! haha end of o lvls..

happy mother's day to all!!!!!!!
i love u mum

woke up breakfast wanted to do maths but use com then left house go for mother's day lunch:) wonderful lunch with mum friend haha mum was rather happy as there was MICHAEL PALMER haha
view house and koon seng road parking was a problem.. it is diff to find a house i want a house of comfort a room for myself but our family too big.. lol so we have to share.. havent found a comfortable house where both transport and parking is great..
next 3 sisters of mine sick went chinese doctor way much cheaper and effective then seeing english one...
and bought dinner and stay at coffeeshop watch tv as she was talking to someone...
tmr tuition haha mother day what is the best plan?
we might need to study....:(((chem paper2 and amaths on monday horrible mann..

i wonder i should go for the volunteering at the cherishere home but look there is bio paper on the following monday can anyone tell me how?...

2010-05-01T21:18:00.003+08:00

lol maybe once a month update will do.. had a sudden urge to do blogging there is too much things in my heart...... it is may already..
u left us 11 months and it is going to be 1 year in 27days.. time seems to be running rather fast..

4 years of band lol in fact 3 and the half bah.. yup that long..
i have seeen many kind of ppl in band and really detest some of them...
haha sec 1 band was boring to me yes real bored and waste of time..
sec 2 things change haha i getting to like band more and more...at the end of year i actually wanna quit as besties in band had gone one by one..i feel rather extra in band... haha thanks to my beloved section mates i felt a sense of belonging....
sec 3 yeah the point i also almost give up due to my lousy playing of trumpet yeah i suck at that.. and sec 4 i totally ENJOYED AND LOVE band practices ahaha..

through this years they are really ups and downs...but i managed to pull through.. thanks to some ppl in band..most of them are my beloved juniors xiayu claudia and patrick thank u so much haha i have say this many time..

xiayu, thank u so much for being there with me in band and outside sch..i will always rmb the times i had with u.. u are a really great junior who is willing to scarfice for band i can really see ur efforts u are putting in band.. although u are my junior nevertheless i learnt alot things from u too bu zhi xia wen:) haha..thank u for being my listening ear too..i had nvr expect we had gone so far:) my first impression of u is different of what u are today.. u have also become more outgoing..dun wan write so much later next time cannot write

claudia.. thank for being there for me too and thank u for being so humourous and telling us jokes haha u really make my day sometimes with those jokes... and cheeriing us up after a long day with band practice.. i have many things to say but not convient lor..

lastly patrick haha
even though u are not reading this but u are like claudia humourous too haha and u always make me laugh when i scold u lol not a good thing but anger cools down ahaha.. lol..even though the time spent is one year u make me enjoy the times i had in french horn section.. even though i always tpt section i had more fun thank u so much dude!

lastly i had to thank 2 rather great seniors to me they are welly and alex... haha
alex i really salute u mann ur contributions towards band and i really love the times u nag haha through the naggings i learnt alot too..

welly even though u are nt in this sch but at least thank u for being there when i was in tpt section::)) u are a wonderful senior and the best i had..

and on the 24th april 2010 i had a wonderful last concert with fellow bandsmen i will nvr forget this memorable day the efforts we put in for the concert:) the one and only time kelly allow me to take photo of her:) haha and one of the friends who insist to buy a ticket from me to support me for this last concert.. the praise we had from the MP,P,VP haha wonderful really wonderful night THANK U SO MUCH EVERYONE AND WE ARE FAMILY I WILL NVR FORGET THIS MOTTO MANN..

AS the concert ended i thought wat will really hapen without band prac? how can i survie.. and i thought those ppl who say band is just freaking waste of time only and boring let me tell u.. U R NOT IN BAND U R NOT PART OF US SO U WILL NVR KNOW HW MUCH WE REALLY ENJOY DURING BAND PRACTICES..
i detest a small grp of ppl in band they really they are princesses... this really make me feel damm fed up nvrtheless the time i had in band is really memorable.. not a waste of time but fun, learning journey i had gone through.. thank u so much btmb:) and christine tan:)

shall end my post here

2010-03-29T20:59:00.006+08:00

lol ps for not updating...
it had been 10 months without her...

life had been rather busy this year..
before i start readers

Bedok Town Military Band & Alumni Band

Presents Solfeggio

Raffles Hotel, Jubilee Hall level 3.

Date: 24th April 2010

Tickets for $10 per person.

Time: 7.30pm

DO SUPPORT US IT IS OUR LAST

CONCERT BEFORE MERGE!!!!

my main focus today is ADAM KHOO WORKSHOP which held last week,,
rather meaningful and for the first time being lectured by an outsider i actually cried..
it really reflects how bad i am...
among all trainers i personally felt danny was best he really show care for us perhaps in a scolding method..
haha 3 days i have learnt lots of stuff and planning future included
their 3 days appearance make me aspire to become trainer to motivate others too.. but i heard need to be chosen by adam khoo-.-
intend to work as trainer assistant after O lvl..
i had many plans actually..

but first and for must i really need to get started in my studies working real hard.. it is just months away
i reallly have to motivate myself...

band
i enjoyed playing my instrument but not with my section mates it is not as fun as i had in trumpet section all the laughter my funny seniors...
haha and being a junior i can rely oops (not independent)
haha but now things are different..
lol independent
junior also getting independent he did realise we sec4s are graduating:)
i cannot imagine how's life gonna be without band practice:)
gonna work real hard for concert my last one and only concert:(

studies i am rather happy with term 1 results hope this goes on:)

2010-02-12T20:32:00.003+08:00

i am back updating again.. seems rather irregular unlike previously life had been rather busy mann..

sch plus tons of homework is killing me.. but wat to do we are sec 4 accept it bah

BAND
band discipline is getting worse i do agree like what seniors is no longer strict like last time..
i guess i must behave better too..
these few band practices had been lecture
must not play with silly pat

2010-01-25T15:41:00.002+08:00

it dawned upon me something after reading xiayu blog..

like what she say to find true love is difficult
people should not be too devoted
between friends it is the same thing.. the closer u are there is more misunderstanding disputes..

january is going off soon and feb is coming with lots of tests coming up too.
everything is like going so fast.

i didnt visiteed him for days i wonder how's he doing now..
get well soon! we are always by ur side waiting for u to recover.. having reunion dinner at ur house.. waitting for u to gamble with us...

2010-01-23T20:58:00.002+08:00

i am back! LOOK I AM UPDATING XIAYU!!!!
ahaha

opps i realise already damm long no update:P ahaha
firstly is a new year 2010 and time really files
it had been already 8 months without u...
haiz.. and he is in hospital pls bless him to recover before CNY

i shall talk abt school..
lessons are normal just that teachers are always naggin o lvl..
form teacher lol same 3 years haha
homeworks alot haiz..
classroom 4th floor wah SIAN!
i cannot believe i am sec4.. the critical period.. i have to hang on for another 10 months.. how long is that..r

BAND!!
this is better to talk..
for the past 2 months of holiday i kill my boredom with packing of stuffs and band practices
and this band practices are really fun..
band had become more bonded through the holiday and after holiday everyone seems to be enjoying cca.. to enjoy we must suffer first
as for myself cca now is a form of de-stress and having fun during sch time..
and through band i had really learnt lots of things, experience things that i nvr expect myself to do..
i nvr regret joining band yay!!
even though some had left me alone in this cca but after sometime i manage to find my close juniors and seniors in band:) we can have our fun jokes play..

i shall end here:)

Random:)

2009-11-16T19:50:00.003+08:00

it is like around half year without her... countless days...when will i dream abt you?

i have lots of things to say.. haha.
damm long no update.. but i think no one reading lol..
blog is now so outdated everyone is into facebook..

yesterday was band practice then attended pingyi marching band ROD..
it was so grand unlike our sch LOL..
amazed by their marching etc.. cool.. if only our band is like this...
haha perhaps in future:)

this holiday is occupied.. with band on every thursday and saturday
moving hse too.. gonna miss the hse..
i suddenly miss my childhood so much..haha playing those games we invented i guess my sisters and i are too creative
haha.. i even my kindergarden report book and is filled with Cs LOL...

my holiday hwks is a stack.. no motivation my sisters all no hwks how lucky are they i want be like them but i need to buck up:)
but i started:)
a little only:(
haha contradicting...

A short post:)

2009-10-15T11:17:00.002+08:00

141 days without her...
staying home for the past few days.. my house was filled with emptiness and lonliness
all of my younger sisters go school leaving me and my mum at home.. the living room was so quiet till a needle's drop could be heard..

i going to work soon next work.. there goes my freedomm.. and this holiday=no play for me.. as there is sure lots of homework stacking up..
i really must work hard for this coming holiday as my chem maths lagging behind..
talkign abt that tmr return papers.. i am really afraid.. i would fail.. for maths and amaths ..
i wanna pass all? will this come true?,... i had a nice dream getting second in class.. but dreams are opposite of reality i guess it wont come true after all.. looking at my results..

xiayu sry yesterday failed to update aha cause dun feel like..and thanks and i know wat do already=)
going mingyue house to play basketball and badminton now.. lol.. byebye!

2009-10-12T20:55:00.002+08:00

138 days without her..
time really files

i have lots of thing to say....yeah should i post a long one..
long time no update going to one month cause i was not in a mood of updating blog and secondly is becuase exam period... but now everything is over hooray!

let talk abt the papers..
english-comprehension a little difficult abt handicapped worse is summary wasnt direct at all..
chinese- haiz dunno....it was difficult hopefully i will pass..
maths- paper1 was mostly sec 1 and 2.. i can do but with no confidence.. papert 2 sec 3 haiz..
social studies- overall was average i wan an A for humanities my only hope
geog- hate developement so much!!! i like river the most. haha...
chem- totally shit!! mole..
bio- difficult?

i had totally lose confidence in watever subjects.. no As but Fs.. haiz.. retain? maybe...
haiz.. anw what is done cannot be undone...hopeless...

my daily life for the past weeks is studying yeah and celebrating mid autumn with my neighbours at the lift haha..
i really have lots of things to say but dunno how to start,..shall update more tmr.. i wanna stop here

2009-09-18T23:14:00.002+08:00

114 days without her.. at times really hate the house seems so empty..

exams are just coming so soon! going to ban myself from com soon yes asap.. but i cannot resist the temptation of com when it is in my living room.. but i must try if not next year how?
so my blog would be dead quite a while.. or maybe every weekend update..

secondly yesterday was the last band practice..
yeah i did a great mistake and it was really that bad..
haiz..
talking abt that yesterday practice irritates me.. both werent listening and just play among themselves
yesterday all of sudden i miss trumpet section and my junior bryan and badly wanna go back..
i admit that he doesnt like band that is so obvious however he is good unlike those 2 craps..those 2 craps i could not stand them..

thirdly i just realise friendship is an irritating thing.. haha my pet peeve just learnt a new phrase:) yeah it starts to become irritating as friends quarrel over small stuffs.. i really cannot stand it and i also dun want myself to have this kind of thing.. yeah i get over mine.. yeah is a good thing i had found my true friends..
i had my longest duration friendship with banana
i had my shortest duration friendship with xiayu
i had my average duration friendship with mingyue and kelly

Banana, i had known him for 2 years plus liao..haha i didnt expect in bts my longest true friend was banana i didnt realise till this year.. kinda dumb of me.. but nvm i know now le so i will cherish him even more.. how should i say him? i dunno.. but he is rather good to me.. so i shall thanks for that banana! u make me know wat is true friendship i found one between us hehe..
i know u read le feel mushy la.. however between u and mer i decided let nature take its course so u both decide for urself..

next xiayu, ahahaha she was from my pri sch.. i didnt expect i had lots to talk to her.. haha when i first see her.. she was a quiet girl, ever since we chatted online.. we began to talk more.. she was my listening ear and i pour all sorts of troubles to her.. i am so sorry but this make me feel better hahah.. even though it is a short period knowing u.. but i believe our friendship will last hehe..

ming yue hahahaha.. this one ah.. crazy sort sort one only closer this year cause dunno wat..
she also my another listening ear.. but i think she pour more troubles to me than i pour haha.. cause of her irritating bro.. aiyo lol..
haha so is like nine months of close friendship our friendship is fighting arguing everyday lol.. mingyue u agree? hahah

kelly!!! omg this one! i miss her so much.. all those blabberings we had during last year miss tan class haha gossipings etc ... she was my studies listening ear.. haha i learnt lots of stuff from her too.. i really miss her guidiance.. teaching me maths indo etc.. i had an enjoyable time in 2e1 because of her:) u rocks.. even though we are not as close as before..but u are my true friend cause.. i also duno how to explain.. thanks kelly!

mervin at time i am close to him at times i am not.. he is a helpful friend who guide me in my maths and a amths this year semester 2.. no matter whr msn sch.. i ask he teach.. thanks..
haha i dunno wat to say liao?

just wanna say to u guys good luck readers for EOY if u are student hehe..

2009-09-12T22:54:00.003+08:00

108 days without her..
at times i really wish she is back beside us.. i really regretted alot not cherishing her when she was with us..

holidays coming to an end soon.. exams are coming.. time really files too fast
exams are coming must jiayou
must buck up really hard i want acheive better than before..
just started revising bio and geog..
at least thesse holidays wasnt like previously wasted..
sec 3already i guess no more time wasting on playing..
study hard play hard after o lvls...
must buck up on mybio chem and humanities.. going to ban myself from com soon..

There are things that u dun cherish , once they are gone , u filled with regretness..
perhaps neglecting her was one of my regretful things i had done...
really miss her lots..
i am sorry for what i had done but i no apologising is not the way..
god bless u in heavens..
u are part of my life..
family members are important ppl in ur life they play an important role in ur life
they stand by u whenver u need.. this is one wat my family is..
i guess i am really lucky for they are always smiling.. laughters of my sisters around the house make ur day.. even u are sad, lame jokes that make by my family member cheer me up...
i going to spend more more time with them...
just have to admit my family more important than friends.. and i am going out lesser with friends..
i apologise for that my friends......i have learnt a lessons and dun wish to repeat my mistake..

2009-09-10T23:33:00.001+08:00

still in a childish way of updating blog.. haiz...

2009-09-10T22:12:00.002+08:00

106days without her..
haiz...

today band practice..sleepy mood...
but we had game
dog and bone again...
we played spanish brass and in the winter of 1730s..
oh lol..having difficulty in the winter..
okay then band ended at 3 plus i went with hme
left 2 more band practice and we go for exam break..
ahhh exam exam
tmr must study.. didn finish my compo aiyo...
must stdy reall hard..
going to ban myself frm com soon...

2009-09-08T21:45:00.003+08:00

104 days without her...
100 days just passed on friday..
that is fast time really files..

friday go sch.. but was updated what happen..
saturday pray for seventh month..
sunday tuition band meeting pray and cousin party..
woots busy weekend
monday was shiok shiok la.
wild wild wet with pyx belle mingyue and mervin lol the oonly boy
haha fun la it was not crowded so we didnt really have to queue and we saw 1 of the teacher
reached there we played but the most was shiok river just lying there..
but playing too much on monday...
haha i went home with a headache cause i banged my head twice once on ming yue and mervin and i was playing too crazy...
haha
thanks for going wild wild wet it's a great pleasure going with u guys mann..but i am sorry i had implicate u..
went bck did someplanning for exam schedule hehe

i also dun wan comment anything abt that.. haiz...

2009-08-29T21:51:00.004+08:00

96 days without her:(
as usual life still goes on..

today morning i played my instrument a while..little finger kinda hurt havent get used to it yet.. then i went to pray her instead of tmr.. tmr going to temple..
home sweet home.. neighbours came and we did some hwks together...long time we didnt catch up together:) My neighbour was from bedok green sec.. it remind me of the pizza hut incident on wednesday ahhaha.. ming yue got admirer..
later at evening watch our My island teacher an old korea drama..

friday..
had chinese test... failed my idoims.. i cannot seem to excel in watever i do.. really dun wish to study at times..but no matter wat stilll have to and next year o lvl..

after sch short band meeting for choosing band tee shirt design..yup i went home..
play instrument watch tv rest and swimming lesson..

past few days were really okay except tests etc..
i feel schooling now is totally study and tests..
next week is the last week before holiday all i can say is now studying period hopefully i am doing it..

i found another blog that really interest me alots.. xiayu blog.. yup filled with emotional feelings like alex.. i like to read this kind of blogs.. i shall make it a point to visit their blogs everyday. haha..

i feel despise among themm.. assholes. friday i received a msg in the early morning..was shocked by that msg..he was as caring like an older silbling.. really want an older bro or younger since i had all sisters,..i was just stunned .. at that moment i felt in band is a place whr u can find hapiness other than our sweet home.. fun and everything...since the begining of this year, we started to communicate,, but kinda stupid past two years didnt really tok much.. all i can say now i miss all of the seniors! especially those naggings, no leaders nag now..
i just wish to say jiayou all the best for nlvl... good luck..u are really a good senior that i had nvr come across..

2009-08-27T21:07:00.002+08:00

94 days without her:(.. going to be hundred days.. and it is next friday maybe not going sch..

today no test relax! had band yup there was reshuffling of ppl to different section again..
park move to horn.. hahah and my dear hayeon had moved to clarinet...
music room is a place whr i can free all my troubles without bothering them.
frankly speaking i miss trumpet section having laughter, i may enjoy playing horn but the ppl in trumpet are closer to me.. unlike horn.. when will horn section will become like trumpet? will the presence of park become betteR? maybe...but the juniors are really slacking alots.. looking at the cute junior at trumpet... make me feel like going back their laughter etc.. i guess no other section other than trumpet is the most bonded and united:)))
i hope the same goes to horn soon...at times band practices really make me miss my seniors that encourage me care for me whenever i play well..... but now everything is on my own i cannot rely... i must be independent i cannot be the old me whr i rely on my 2 trumpet seniors...

i took a sudden interest in psychology i dunno why i seem interested.. i love to read stuff that really touches them alot..which later give advice to my friends when they sought help from me.. one of the thing motivates me is alex blog his words are realistic and true his post is filled with feelings.. i love reading his blog, at times u really learnt lesson from there.. i really wanna learn the way he write his blog...it is totally psychology...

talking abt psychology comes from my sis..she had been asking me for advice like some of my friends and i felt good being a listening ear and advicing them.. or watevr...
haha i guess perhaps this might become my future... a cousellor a psycharist and lastly childcare ...

end of year coming soon i guess updating lesser hope i am hardworking and will really study hard! jiayou fennie~ hahaha

2009-08-17T22:02:00.002+08:00

84 days without her....

haha my mood was rather happy today...had band prac i change instrument to french horn both advantages and disadvantages but sadly i miss my ex section mates they were best...haha but horn was quite fun in playing but not the people lol.. totally different from my previous section mate haha
i achieved alittle today by playing covington square learning many parts=)
but during practice all of sudden i miss the seniors that always guide us along .. nagged at us...
haha oka enough of band my mood was rather good because of that

yesterday i had tuition then i visited my sister again...
yup i will never wat had happen at that sickening hospital 3 of closed ones passed away there how can forget...
then i went for cutting hair and dinenr
the day before saturday even more funny
tuition then last mintue sms from my grp members ming yue chandy and yose to go national library.. yup i rushed there ended up earilest
we wanted to do cme project the script
haha but in the end toking ended up the most...hehe
but we did a little..

friday i went poly for some mathemactics course just realise my interest wasnt the same as my dad lol..

wanna i hate the subject msot is chemistry never will i like mann...

2009-08-07T22:27:00.002+08:00

72 days without her...

just a short update!
today national day celebration..
like first time in history teacher's performance for us...
haha damm cool..
3 dance segments..
haha sexy teachers=)

after school i went home with peh and belle..
reach inter took bus no 9 with belle
chatted all the way to tanah merah i alighted and took 45..
then went home.. had lunch, a nap then go temple..
swimming=)

These ROD videos URL..
haha first one diego performing damm cool uh...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnDvyjryB3Y
Nobody- wonder girls.. dance by park soyeon esther and zakir..
which later part zakir solo haha damm sexy lol..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5udPSy0pdE
Followed by.. tell me.. dance by zakir park soyeon esther again..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMjcOhX63rk

2009-08-01T22:59:00.000+08:00

66 days without her.. and this friday i my friend's mum 49 days...
all i can say is time files too fast...

Today was ROD!
all i can say is fun fun fun!
morning came to sch around 7 plus.. arrange chairs... etc.. blow balloons lol smelly ones.. then were playing like small kids.. and some bursting ballons-.-
then rehearsal.. real ceremony starts.. mdm hu speech then alex his speech is like so...
till himself cried...
then section leaders post.. i dun wanna be.. seeing that i foresee something bad happen.. i think he wouldnt want to come back...
then post holders and leaders..
congrats eka zakir park and esther formally become a leader!!!!!!!
this ROD wasnt like last year so strict, this year was slacking.. everything done
fall in! receive presents and messages from them! jinyee rocks give me the best gift...
so lunch time but xiayu and one more junior wanna go home=(
then my junior pants lose.. like so lose till wanna drop went in band room to get pins..
welly pei us..
settle everything had lunch with hayeon and soyeon..went in dance studio soyeon need preparation for her dance with esther, zakir and park
soon performance start.. they dance damm pro can.. sexy ahahaha.. zakkir most pro in the nobody- wonder girls... he dance solo.. bravo...
then diego performance.. guitar.. haha like damm nice and soothing the music he played...
i was sitting beside 2 boys, jerome wanted to laugh out loud but the room was so quiet and no1 making noise but concentrating then welly was like humming the tone... haha noisy boys..
then we played the traditional game lol MUSICAL CHAIRS WAHAHA
that lame i know-.-
DOG AND BONE NEXt my grp leading at first haha but in the end dunno know who win.. till 2pm we are dismissed and that how a nice party ended..
i went off with with jerome and zhen sen...
just kept chatting go seven eleven
i can say jerome is totally like zakir mann...
ROD IS FUN BUT SENIORS STEPPING DOWN=( GONNA MISS THEM!!

enough of ROD

after i went home i shower and took a nap.. dunno why feel tired..
and that go a national day dinner from my friend invitation... oh diaox...
now using com
oh yeah completed only chinese festivals of cme...
how to finish sia

2009-07-29T20:10:00.000+08:00

62 days without her...
still missing her especially now i was on MC for few days sitting alone whr she usually lie there.. seems quiet and lonliness.. too quiet for a home...

i got lots of stuffs to say but i am speechless when i come to blogger...

haha on monday during cca kena sent home due to high temp.. but frankly speaking that day only was cold weather but dunno why.. but reach home i felt no energy so i went slp see doctor temp same-.- haha before that during band.. there was one new junior from china..
was asked to teach him trumpet but as u know teaching is not my forte and trumpet somemore so lousy already how to teach..furthermroe my chinese sucks
so went to the back of music room ask welly for help... so he started teaching..were like guessing wat is mouth piece etc.. damm funny.. so difficult to intepert.. haha then alex join in with a french horn.. he starrted teach him his chineses was better but.. also must guess still.. then we were like keep guessing the translation ahha just so funny.. rofl...

monday night i cannot slp well so tuesday i take a long nap..
today feeling better just morning slight fever.. realise my sis kena fever too.. so we sllping i same room...
today i did CME project morning, mingyue,chandy/yose online so talk to them abt project.. lol..nth much today.. i am an rotten egg. wahaha
tmr thurs heard there is and english test, class photo taking.. even though i am not inside i will buy=) cause i love 3E1! 3E1 rocks!
tmr there is band practice and i am not going? ah...
i cannot find ribbon still.. yup tmr they take class photo i will be going to take IC photo for next week one..

they sucks insulting the place whr i find my true friends.. the place whr i enjoyed, the place that i felt it was my second home.. the place whr i find fun by joining a cca in there.. merging is gonna big diaster??!!!
cannot imagine the future but they sucks.. not only their blog shows friends of my cousin say that.. they are the one who low class when they say us..

shall end here
good night guys sweet dream..

2009-07-17T17:21:00.004+08:00

50 days without her... i miss her smile.. she is so positive

Today had english debate and chinese test..

talking abt eng debate funny.. lol even thought seems we had lost but actually we did alot so

at least we didnt let ourseleves down...

i simply love my group=)

chinese test... okok.. i did read the book.. luckily it also open book test then i can find idioms that i dunno...

chemistry practical taken by mr ng...we did faster than mrs koh side...

mrs koh go through mole chpt after sch. getting to understand mole better like finally...

i wanted upload more pics i guess i do that tmr..

next week there is few test mannn

amaths chpt6 trignometry

toa cah soh ah.. give ppl headache

next geog coast.. ah...

tnr i update more..

PS: xiayu short post..

2009-07-11T23:51:00.002+08:00

44 days without her.. going to 45..
my house seems empty.. at times i still rmb how she had gone at that F****** hospital..
really feel like scolding vulgarities at them mann..

nice weather today...went out with mum in morning to settle stuffs..
then came back sis tuition crowded place so i did hwks instead..
then dinner then did some research...bored....

tmr tuition then pray as usual at night durian feast.. with my uncle whole family
talking abt that cousin going NS on monday.. that is fast..

i notice my friends around me are having bad days whereas my days are running smoothly just a bit stress...a jinx to them?
i wish i could help them.. yeah just a misunderstanding and their close friendship is just becoming normal friends...
what a pity instead...

2009-07-05T22:36:00.002+08:00

38 day without her.. at times i still miss her..

yesterrday was my mei's birthday..
haha went to new york like last year for celebration..
she had fun lol..

today morning needed go pray her...
night.. had steamboat.. cause my aunt feel like lol..
then mahjong-ing... haha
with cousins.. my luck damm bad... only win twice....

tmr youth day.. yeah no sch...
but my place will be crowded...

it is really hard for me to tell u the reason.. i find it a difficulty to explain to u.. i wish i wasn't born in this world.
now i really dunno how to face u...
i really want to tell u but i got no guts...

2009-07-03T21:21:00.008+08:00

33+3=36 days without her

lols i dunno wat to update..
miss tan extended the deadline for handing up maths hwks
so is mrs hoon
arent they great

today had english..
was great did research.. i guess i had a nice group most things are done...
then chem bored
recess
had malay rice...
maths
go through holiday hwks.
then chinese did compo...
i didnt finish it..

i duno wat update liao bye
!!!!

2009-07-01T21:52:00.002+08:00

33+1=34 days without her...

sch is per normall..assembly in class..
then maths lesson.. miss tan didnt came.. did maths worksheet haha abit slacking
then english..got some big debating project..
recess haha early right....
lol upper sec first...
bought my sis birthday present at tuckshop
chinese we read newspaper
cme.. abit slacking and completed copying gong han...
geog.. yeah my fav sub.. haha nice one
then bio
the most damm 'fun' lessons today..
as it wass the last lesson of the day.. everyone was feeling tired lesson was bored..
and diego was like looking around see who fall asleep..
ming yue was drawing some stuffs dunno wat..
she too bo lioa..
fusang and me was like looking around saying so sian..
chandy funny la.. he was like looking at the clock every 5 seconds hoping for lessons end...
lols

3 days to my sis birthday! haha

yesterday i went out with my juniors xiayu and clauudia..
haha damm fun
after schh we had lunch headed to library
national one..
lols.. then we in library keep talking crap.. laugh like crazy ppl
and we planned for a trumpet outing near xiayu and my birthday:)
haha
shall not tell u guys what we did in library
ps. it is a secret..:P

2009-06-29T22:42:00.002+08:00

32th day without her...

sch reopen...
yeah bored bored
study and study
i dun even understand a shit of chem
how to do holiday hwks just because i miss one lesson on the last day
stupid..
sian..

2009-06-28T22:20:00.007+08:00

31 days without her...
might not be continously update since sch is reopening will be busy with stuffs...

i went to pray for my sis as usual..going there makes me feel moody..
i ask myself why didnt i cherish her..
why didnt i took proper care of her...
and she is just gone everything is too fast...

next i went to my grandparents house to do my hwks haha..
seeing my grandparents make my day...
then did abit of hwks ...
i went to my uncle house which is nearby grandpa house for durians
is durian season
so my cousin and family went to mandai to picked durians
delicious yum yum
haha
sadly my cousin is going ns.. july is coming this wed is first of july.. and soon he had to go NS...
then i went back to grandparents house shower..
we went for dinner.. yeah western dinner since sch reopening

MY sis birthday is coming.. 4th july...
LOL it clashes with band ROD and party..
so might not be going party..

tmr sch reopen..
should have extend of holiday...
now H1N1 have 454 cases
that is increasing rapidly...
not really looking forward sch suddenly

shall end my post here...

2009-06-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

it is past midnight ..
excatly 30 days without her..

today had band meeting.. before that meet mingyue for hwks..
time files.. ROD is coming...
sec4s and 5s are stepping down..
that is fast...

i saw u today and saw ur smile .. i believe u are better .. great to see ur smile.. that is what friends for.. i will rmb..

i finally contacted him.. he doesnt give me the assurance of going.. his dad called .. but i know the whole thing beforehand..i lied to his dad...
i dunno wat is happening..
but i dun wan trouble the other... haiz..

2009-06-24T21:41:00.004+08:00

27th day... tmr is exactly one month:(

time files isn't it..

i completed my english book review and a little of SS.. tmr maths and SS..

time to chiong hwks..

this holiday was a meaningful one.. i began to read more newspaper and storybooks...

didnt really play..

watch tv and hwks...

sian right...

no extension of holiday?

i not sad neither am i happy but i felt like why sch reopen so fast.. i am worried abt my studies...

yeah studies amaths chem bio

the worst subjects..

mdm tan is haad transferred another school.. haiz..

i dunno wat will happened after first day of sch..

tmr there is no band practice due to H1N1.. until 3rd july...

that like so long..

the more it delay the worser it get can..

frustrating..

ROD coming...

sians.. clashing with my youngest mei b'dae...

you are so busy but time and time again i had been troubling u.. i think i owe u alot.. work hard and jiayou.. i believe u can..

time and time again u helped me.. i am speechless..

2009-06-22T22:56:00.001+08:00

25th day without her..

nth to post.. bored

no school holidays extension hahaa...

2009-06-20T21:40:00.003+08:00

23rd day without her...

i received a good new and bad news.. haiz..

i can see this year is not a good year for me...

the good news is i going to have another cousin.. yeah babies it rock my life mann..

bad news is a lovely mum of my friend had gone...

heartfelt condolences to u and ur family .... may u rest in peace...

i will miss u and ur cooking skills especialy ur curry chicken...

haiz...

i guess u had suffered enough...

u are strong and had willpower to live...

like my sis...soo god will bless u..

u are such a friendly person..

so easy going...

i had lose one loved one.. and one granny who is nice to me though she is not related.. a band senior though i am not close..

had i not enough...

i even found out how my oldest sis brain is damaged=(

cruel hospitals..

i totaally love babies.. they are ultra cute=)

2009-06-19T23:24:00.001+08:00

22 days without her..
yeah my living hall seems empty..
i didnt complete my hwks.. but i use com..
broke my promise.. i seriously in holiday mood... sch re-opening...
haiz...

2009-06-18T21:49:00.004+08:00

21 days without her. .. i am still counting..
going to one month soon.. each day i am saying the same thing...

today had band practice.. wake up...feel like slping more due to lack of slp.. perharps too many things had happened..
yea reached there sec2 express band members were there and patrickk..
so we started chatting, joking around.. we were liek betting which leader come first.. lols
fall in take attendence preparation for ROD which is postpone to 4th july my sis birthday..
yea it always clashing bond to clash.
I CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT THIS YEAR
did wardrobe job with jerome.. funny sia...
lol we were like joking and just do our job...
job done
drills.. i finally understood when they complicated..
the memorising part
i am a slow learner...
haiz..
that why my trumpet till now playing sucks...
then after that rehearsal...
then checking trumpets and i went home wif Li Ling...
i had a great senior and 2 great juniors what more can i asked..they are encouraging..
believing in me i can do it..as for firdan i dun really know wat happen....
haiz.. but i disappoint them...
GET WELL SOON!

sch starting soon.. but my hwks?? wahaha guess how much completed?
H1N1 seems to be spreading fast..

my plan for tmr?
do DIY stuffs in the morning
lunch
hwks time
geog
SS
Emaths week 3

make sure i must do that if not tmr no update.. banned myself from com.. lol
night swimming
might consider life saving skills course watsoever dunnowat is name...

2009-06-17T22:34:00.004+08:00

20 days without her..going to one month soon; time really files...

today went to pray her... in there we saw a monk cooking and his cooking skills were great.. smell nice after he had cooked his dish.. then went to old airport road to have lunch.. and went back home..

was practicing my trumpet past few days.. seems my playing is hopeless..

then went to nearby park to excercise lol..

came back shower..

receive a msg.. oops my senior is sick unable to come for prac tmr....

to this state i am still relying on seniors. can't i just wake up and dun rely on them.. but i can't..

i failed being a great junior to them..

but being a lousy junior to them..

very disappointing if u have a senior or junior like me....

tmr no fairy god mother...

there is band practice.. haiz...my playing how?

have to settle a few things..

ROD rehearsal...

i had 2 great juniors.. xiayu and claudia.. always helping out.. like photocopying I-recommend

all those stuff.. thanks..

thanks for putting the trust in me...but i dun think i can do it.. hopeless already.. u are great.. nice knowing u..ur gudiance for 2 and the half yrs...really thanks.. take care.. get well soon! u still need to help me!

2009-06-16T21:20:00.002+08:00

go t0 this blog.. cute poor little girl.....
www.ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com

life is really fragile, u might nvr know what happen next...some1 just lose their life just like that...
sick.. and sian of this..

last sat went some event so called playmex and met new friends.. they were nice and friedly ppl..

today went visit grandpa..
his hearing gt worse and needed hearing aid..
then to hougang point to buy farewell gifts for seniors=)
sian...

i wish my fairy godmother in band will appear...

19 days without u=(
each day is missing u... i will still rmb the night how u went...
asshole hospital.. famous for its bad reputation.. regretting sending her there...

2009-06-14T22:19:00.003+08:00

went dinner with my grandparents and my second uncle
had fun..
during dinner were testing each other teochew,.. he was like testing what do u like to eat.. then we keep on say we like to eat shit in dialect.. simplerr LOLS.
jokes keep on going till my cousin and we started dinner..
cousin is going NS in july....
haiz...
seeing my grandparents really make my day.. they are nice, funny although jokes are in dialect.. haha
they rock...

take care dude.. may ur grandma get well soon...

losing loved ones is really painful, cherish ur loved ones..
the momments u had with he/she
really u must cherish it...
i miss her lots.. the house seems so empty and quiet.. could no longer hug her..
i really regretted for neglecting her sometimes...
whr are u now i wonder?...
appearing in my dreams last night makes me miss u more...
went to pray.. something is amiss...

2009-06-01T20:04:00.003+08:00

continue from yesterday.. cremenation.. was really bad.. my dad came back in time to see her.. carrying and hugging her photo here and there to the temple in the end..every wed we need to go there to pray...always remebering her last breathe at that sickening hospital gasping for air..rmb her strong her will of fighting but doctors wanna let her go isn't it cruel

sunday
went to singapore casket collect her ashes.. skeleton in pieces her skull become pieces too..coover in red cloth and set out to marina south pier..
went for sea burial.. and i throw her ashes into the sea near east coast park..
then had lunch went home nap.. too tired liao

this process is a hurtful and painful one...i have never felt so hurt and pain in my heart...
my mujm is really strong...my idol..

thanks xiayu.. u had been a great junior and friend.. welcome to trumpet section.. i believed we will enjoy band practices together.. thanks alot..

2009-05-31T21:51:00.003+08:00

too many things at happened this year.. yea a bad year this year

2009 sucks..

begining of year

kelly left this sch

then mr chng no more conducting us

grandfather admitted in to hospital during CNY..

bad results etc

and now my sis passed away...

she had just pass 21 years old.. and her life is taken away just like this..

i was hugging her on wed afternoon.. didnt expect it is the last hug..

she is celebral pasly a kind of brain disease

she couldn't talk walk eat.. relying on ppl..

the worst times is when she is sick..

couldnt cough out lips turn black choking her...

wed night at 9 pm i was watching tv...mum shouted for me..as usual lips turn black..we thought just patting her like usual will do..

but lips turn black for like very long.. brought down to doctors.. they call hospital

that low class hospital with limited resources...

doctors that do not have perserverance

she was sent to A&E. the lady doctor saved her inserting a tube provideoxygen...

she have to rely on machine

yea into ICU... waited quite long..as ICU packes

once admitted nvr u will come out..

there was this male doctor checking on her after she was in ICU

he gave us his attitude face no patience

u can see how bad is this hospital...

every moment my sis was gasping for air.. breathe deeply..

thursday i went sch at 8..30

i thought there was chem lesson but teacher was busy if not i skip school

at 12.30 my mum called me say it was her last time seeing my sis and come down general office..

tears rolled down my cheeks my heart was hurting.. didnt knwo wat to do..

i saw her and asked

is because of the doctors who give no hope to my sis..

they say had lung infection and slim chance of recovery

so pulled out the tube to let her go..

but my dad wasnt back

our aunt stay with us whole day long and advicing mum not to let go.. wait till my dad.. yea so we waited...

my uncle visited her..

and say she had strong will of fighting this disease and doctors say so too..

my sisters and i felt better hearing this.. and believe she will recover

but those crap doctors say ICU space is limited transfer her to normal ward instead since there is no chance of saving and we cannot do anything..

so we transfer her... in process we had dinner

i thought she will recover...with the strong will...

when we visited her we agree the normal ward is a better place for her..

as aircon in ICU was too cold..

but doctors and nurses ignored.. as if she was not there...

everything looks good but before we left.. nurse was like sucking her saliva as it rolled down her mouth...

so when sucking is done.. her lips turn black..

heartbeat was 0

the nurse didnt care till we called for a doctors.. we waited outside impatiently ..one of the nurses came out say she maybe had pass away..

everybody start crying... we felt is a pity..

doctors came out and confirmed her death with us...

we cried out. standing beside her just crying.. we believe she didnt want to see us like this but we couldnt control...

she passed away at 28th May, 21.16pm...

uncle auntie rushed down..

they took care of admin stuffs.. whereas my maid and sisters plus me went home to take a rest

friday... went to singapore casket.......

settle her wake and whr to burial everything is done at 2 plus..

we fold offerings for her and talked to her at times infront of her...

swimming instructor came...

then my uncle and grandmum..

cousin... trying to make joke making us happy...

after that mervin, park.gordan and esther came..

thanks.

miss tan, mdm christine tan, miss ye and mr chau

alex edmund huitian..

thanks...

and those who sms thanks for ur concern...

and the teachers who contributed..

i apperciate it.. and really touched by u guys..

i guess bedok town secondary wasnt a bad school after alll..

monks chanting etc...

ppl come..

neighbours who heard from others came too..

being the second oldest, just had to talk to those who come.. etc praying for her all the time..

lots of stuff...

after then around 8.30pm we start folding offerings again..

to 11 plus..

with cousins..

then went home..

saturday which was cremenation..

worst than friday..

more ppl came to see her for last time..

monk chanting before we set off..

before that see her the last time and broke out intotears again.. more ppl crying too..

21, a young adult jjust gone liek this..

went to mandai.. and saw her going into the room whr she burnt..

mood was really bad,,

i guess we still cannot accept it..

everymoment we are talking abt her...

shall post more tmr

2009-05-26T21:33:00.002+08:00

omg post exam activities

there is no going out

no fun

no play

but study

service learning.. sian

tmr inline skating even more sian...

my skating skills suckss

there goes a poem for skating..

u stand up once

and fall down once

hurting my butt always..

wear pamper for protection hahaha...

sian lol.. just being lame.. i only know i stand up once i fall down again then hurt my butt lol...

and it is not once it is many times LOL...

2009-05-23T22:14:00.003+08:00

results full of disappointment.. last 10 in class..

i fail amaths badly...

bio

chem just pass

i must really thank park to make my sciences pass..

bio from 45/100 can go to 50/100...

i happy with social studies.. totally though i didnt study much in fact i put the least effort i got 31/50... i didnt fail at all.. most SS CA i fail... was really shocked by SS results...

let talk abt james.. yesterday went to airport sent james off...

met chia chi, bananaa n mervin had fun with them just keep joking around but they were too pervert... so irritating in the end LOL...

then we had dinner before meeting the rest...

lucky no1 cried.. ..

diego ask his mum why he have to go back..

cause his parents want him to go through a test and get into a good university in korea..

wish him good luck... all the best...

band is resuming next thursday.. i guess my playing gonna be suck sucks...

always sucks anw...

at least there is fun... not bored after sch..

2009-05-20T19:19:00.003+08:00

first of all.. some results back.. yea as usual disappointment.. many subjects fail too... haiz..
chem
50.5/100
study so much get this...haiz..
bio fail
maths paper 1 46/60
average..sian...
chinese eng 66/100 overall..
siian
see all lousy marks ...
let not talk abt results

FAREWELL AGAIN!!
3 years in bts...
ii guess they are many farewells.. isnt it??
from sec1 to sec 3..
i saw many ppl joining our school and one by one leaving..
yea they are foreigners and obviously they are smarter so go better sch better..
i cannot even count how many left already...

james is leaving to korea soon.. on friday..
Though i am not close.. but knowing him almost 3 years is long enough..
i will rmb him for his lame jokes.. his naughty tricks..etc..
all the best for him in his studies and jiayou...
band is less one baritone saxophone...

how sick is this world... my life in secondary is full of farewell..
while next is mdm tan , miss chua.. there will be more ..

there is one very important principle in my secondary life
LEARN TO LET GO...LIFE WILL STILL GO ON AFTER ALL.
just less one person in ur class

life is just so sian...

2009-05-17T21:49:00.002+08:00

updating...

EXAMS ARE OVER! freaking happy mood get better seems less stres wow lol..

whole weekend lying on the bed watching tv and read storybook...

let talk abt exams...

CHINESE- i not sure how well can i do.. just a mere pass or fail maybe cause didnt complete my paper...

ENGLISH- summary too short.. not sure wat i was doing..haiz...

GEOG- my fav subject but the last question didnt study so dunno how to answer is like 1/4 of the mark byebye plus mistakes how well do u think i can do???!!

MATHS PAPER I- suprise by it i thought it was difficult i thought coulnt cope and i can do this paper.. hoping for no careless mistakes...

MATHS PAPER II- eeeeee so difficult couldnt do many .. is like 80 marks more than half of the mark

over all is 140

CHEM- i scarfice studying chem instead of SS and wat i study didnt really come out.. mostly is brain thinking questions not direct

SOCIAL STUDIES- i study a little cuz of chem... and i forget to study population and it came out.. wat i study for those controlling traffic yet didnt come out... damm fed up.. studies gone to waste..

BIO- Yeah at this point of time my brain no longer could store anymore thing was really trying how.. tryying my best to memorise i could ... yet i could not.. questions werent direct except for some.. haiz wondering i could pass...

A MATHS- the confirm die papeer.. no confidence of passing.. but great confidence of failing...wth...

no hopes..

MATHS PAPER 2- Same it was difficult worse than paper 1...

i guess red marks are coming from results slip... i cannot take it... collection of mid year.. might even burst out crying...i seriously no confidence.. none of the paper was that easy..

i realise i cannot cope sec 3... ever since term 2

was it a wrong decision to take amaths?? haiz...my mind is in confused..

i wanna watch titanic.. any1 got cd lend me pls....

longed for it damm long already since last year till now...

many things happened over this 2 weeks... not going to write bahh..

perharps it is not fated for us..

2009-05-03T22:06:00.005+08:00

EXAMS IN THREE DAYS WTH??????!!!!!!!!!

I AM NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR THIS FREAKING EXAMS.. YEA ONLY GEOG IS PREPARED..

SO FROM TODAY IS THE LAST DAY.. GOING TO BAN MYSELF FROM COM TILL EXAMS OVER.. HOPE I AM ABLE TO MAKE IT.. OR MAYBE ONLINE ONCE A WHILE..

Therefore no updates for the momment...

GOOD LUCK PPL! ALL THE BEST! JIAYOUS! PASS WITH FLYING COLOURS!

i wan make it to top 20.. god help me..

I miss my friendship with her when i was looking through the band pictures... haiz.. why did we come to this state?

2009-05-02T20:33:00.003+08:00

had tuition early morning chemm...
then lunch ...then went to library
damm crowded can.. so we were like moving 'house' like this move here and there
and finally we settle down
haha start studyting a maths did one questions and i show no interest so start bio
continuously and i studied chpt 2 and 3 LOL?
an acheivement
but a dissappointment for maths haiz..
went home... had a great dinner todayy..
i am excited for tmr.. meeting with my grandparents and cousins!!!!!!!!!!
even though is exam period lol..
i miss my grandparents.
i
haiz damm sian.. i will rmb u..

2009-04-29T22:10:00.006+08:00

first all let wish kelly happy birthday

KELLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

MAY ALL UR DREAMS COME TRUE!

EXCEL IN UR STUDIES AND GET FIRST!

STAY PRETTY BABE HEHE..

GOOD LUCK FOR MID YEAR !

Selamat ulang tahun , cantik
haha..

congrats park and fusang being together perfect match lol!
both smarties!

thx forbeing so nice...but i dun uunderstand why sia..i hate u for that

2009-04-27T21:12:00.003+08:00

KELLY JIAYOU AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU FOR MID YEAR! BEST WISHES TO YOU!
My dearest kelly (lol seems like formal letter)
2007 we were not close lol always being random asking done ur hwks all these
since sec 1 u say u will no transfer.. u really didnt transfer

2008 teacher started putting us sit together at first seems we had nth to tok
thanks for being such a great friend for the year 2008
just having fun sitting with u almost the whole year or whole year lols..
sitting with u is fun u kill my boredom, sharing the ppl we hate

the best phrase is aku benci gurumat lol.. u help in my studies too..maths especially.. since i am weak in.. everything u can help me in everything haha.. we share secrets, gossiping ppl, tok bad ppl lol.. hannah join in sometimes too.. u assure me even more u wont transfer

but sadly u did

2009 4 months 24 days.. that time u com back sg early i was wondering why.. i guess is transfering of sch.. but u say not.. first day of school u didnt come i knew something is wrong .. i was thinking in positive way maybe something is up

second day of sch after weekend

jenn then tell me u transfer..i was like stunned..

i went home.. just kept thinking.. it was so unbelivable... haiz..

but life still goes on.. all we can do now is meeting up with each other.. that is wat we are doing i hope for my meetings with u..

THANK YOU KELLY U ROCK! HAHA=)

while updating this post, i was chatting up with pri sch friends, 2 gays choon sheng and ming hui..

we were like toking abt aik leong and jasper ..

so funny la..

they 4 of them gays.. lol

aik leong have gf so does jasper

wonderful thing i know haha..

boys in 6I toally cool

didnt realise lol..

they always chat with each other

always

every week at least

so nice...

mood? happy or saD? I dun even know...

2009-04-26T21:09:00.003+08:00

dad is overseas again =(
so fast la..

mid year 10 days countdown lol.. was look at calendar today..
time really files sec mid year examinations.. sec 3 leh.. ahhhhhhhh
sian...
dying soon..
no interest to study?
no mood to study?
but i motivate myself
saturday whole day i was doing maths.. my brain burst
today was doing geog..
woohoo i understand everything..
i wish for a high pass in geog.. so that i can fail my SS
i really hate socIAL studies
seems like history always failing for it..
therefore i am workingg hard for my geog=)
i want to aim top 20 for mid year..
really hope i can
wish me luck..

i am feeling rather good now.. haha,, i shall thank u for that lol..

2009-04-24T22:03:00.002+08:00

i was checking my mails.. friendster reminder.. kelly birthday coming up..
6 days more.. but i cannot meet her exams are coming...:(
haiz..
reflecting on this term..i slack this term alot.. from term 1 i was actually trying to work hard and i did but after term 2 i could not stand it..
i realise the more i study the more i will fail the test.. yea 3/25 wat a 'great' mark.. la..
i really hate studying now.. yea totally hate....

2009-04-23T20:46:00.002+08:00

MING YUE IS CRAZY AH!!!!!!!!!!!

updating again..

life is seriously bored i am bored with studies studies.. today normal got chinese test flunk again bah?

no other tests.. lucky lesser tests now a days..

after school went to inter to had lunch with ming yue banana and welly..

then we went library lol.. the boys didnt wanna go to third floor so ming yue and i went to third floor and they went to second floor LOL..

study geog.. the sub i most interested in now..

then after a while went down to second floor to find them... cuz of banana..

then went down... lol then we sat at a corner after that banana went home there was this p6 girl came to us and ask a question in chinese i was like suddenly stuck so didnt say anything..

ming yue handle it=) then welly help her too.. i down there write wat they say lol.. cause she didnt know how to spell

after a while ming yue got irritated so she left to return magazine.. today she totally crazy over fei lun hai didnt even study la.. oh my god...

welly taught me geog:)

on re sectioning all these which i didnt understand crap lol

Mid year is coming like in 2 weeks or lesser

chinese then eng

then geog.. therefore i am studying it beforehand.. trying to work hard for this mid year.. haiz..

jiayou everybody!!

2009-04-20T20:57:00.002+08:00

CONGRATS CHOIR FOR ACHEIVING A SILVER!!!

exam coming.. thursday going library to study long way to say intend to go library to study all the way... got motivation there..siann no band practice.. damm weird la..
i am used to busy life .. come home early also no motivation to study just slack i would rather come home late..tmr chem test i have not yet study..

2009-04-18T21:34:00.003+08:00

today speech day..
eeeeee.. really last one sia..
was having a trumpet section toking lol.
we had alot fun toking.. toking abt tp.. anisa was totally crazy over tp sia...
keep asking us to join when we graduate haha..
we just kept toking till VIP come.. i think our section filled with fun and laughter most.. laughing out loud..
we just totally enjoyed alot today..
after that had chicken burger and drink for breakfast=)
then see alumni plus some main band played those songs while waiting for ming yue..
going her hse for chinese project ..
they played blue ridge saga nice song i totally love it.. instant concert mixture.. pirates hahaa til now dunno how to play..
i enjoyed
after that, time to go ming yue ok liao..
i say bye to my laopo junren my theother laopo jinyee went home when i go take Cl textbk
say bye to my trumpet seniors..
oh they stepping down,.. i miss them.. cannot bear to see them leave/steeping down...
junren is recently become my wife haha
jinyee.. best when i am lonely she is there for me..she encourage me alot too..one of my best seniors..
welly.. same section.. always there guiding me encouragin me.. care and concern like a big bro..
cracking jokes when i am bored.. an entertainer LOL kidding.. hehe
jordan.. great leader but doesnt show it.. haha he too shy..
alex.. his talkings are always resonable and meaningful sometimes is good to keep his words and rmb it.. sometimes nags...
charis.. discpline ppl lol
but best is jinyee and welly lol..

i miss them..

went to mingyue house..
his bro was using com so didnt use.. i slack lying on the bed almost fell asleep
so whole afternoon wasted lol ..mdm tan know i go MY hse LOL...

ming yue make me crazy over... ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-17T22:45:00.002+08:00

today is a suckish day..
too many things to say dun feel like saying..
sian..
was toking fusang abt chinese project and my chinese totally sucks la..
haiz..
mingyue busy cannot help
so i have to summarise the powerpoint
if not i nvvr help sia..
sickening..
my studies are dropping.. i really have no mood studying..
i didnt really do well this term..
seriously i dun even know i can carry on... sooner or later i think i drop even more haizs.....
sickening thing.. freak..

2009-04-16T21:50:00.002+08:00

Ah!!!!!!!1
i flunked maths test badly.. i hate it.. haiz.. i cannot seem to do anything right..
haiz..

today speech day rehearsal last band prac to performance that is fast..
exam break
ah i gonna miss band practice..
sec4s and 5s too..

lol i dunno how to survie after exam break band practices..
he totally sucks..

2009-04-12T21:44:00.002+08:00

SUPPORT CYN BLOGSHOP@ stylishyou.blogspot.com!!!!!!!!

2009-04-11T22:15:00.003+08:00

haha i like this 2 pic...taken during xi pei birthday..

feeling so frustrated... haiz..

2009-04-10T21:47:00.002+08:00

wednesday was Cynthia birthday.. after sch, and the essay competition.. went to J's wok and grill with pyx.. we reached there first... then pei and jas come followed by banana.. and there it goes again toking pervert things...
had fun haha.. after that went to multi carpark rooftop around blk 513.. camwhoring there lols...
reached home around 7 plus..
thursday normal day.. i seriously sick of sch..
after sch got band hehe..come to think of it.. time seriously past very
fast..
it is last three rehearsal before sec 4s and 5s step down..
haiz..
haha today had been slacking...
once again..

2009-04-08T21:52:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CYNTHIA! MAY ALL UR WISHES COME TRUE! ALL THE BEST FOR SUTDIES! JIAYOU! AHAHHAHA

2009-04-07T21:42:00.004+08:00

back updating.. yeah today got band practice.. speech day rehearsal..
was having a bad headache.. muscle ache at my shoulder.. haiz lucky i took panadol from my bag if i think now i slping lol..
yea anisa came back haha.. just talking like last time anisa welly and i having laughter and fun with joke...
i miss the past times when anisa was a section leader.. she so encouraging..always believing i can do it..but i disappoint her after all..without band practice in my life is seriously weird.. i wish for more band practices and lesser lessons lol?
i am tired of studying, sometimes even feel like giving up studying.. but is really a wrong way of thinking.. i try to motivate myself to study but i am really sick of it.. just these few months already tired me out.. how am i going to survie the next few months...
mid year exam is coming..
lol i realise i talk to xiayu alot on msn.. but on real life lesser.. she is a quiet girl hahaa...
hope she joined trumpet.. must come ah... i welcome u.. then we can talk more lol..
end here good night guys...

2009-04-05T21:30:00.002+08:00

i had a great time with my family today.. morning tuition..
after that smsing to ming yue.. seriously i had slack the whole weekend not studying the had mood.. feel like giving up but this is wat i should not do..
yea tmr got test i didnt study too..
napfa test sucks.. tmr having 5 items, my muscle still cramp thanks to friday pe lesson
dont even know tmr can do sit up...
then around 3 plus we left our hse to ecp.
start renting bicycle..
lol it start raining.. so we ride to the nearest shelter the hawker centre since we are there..
we bought drinks and desserts to enjoy..
then laughter and fun come in haha..
then riding back the bicylce shop under the rain
so shiok.. cooling lol
then come home shower had dinner use com.. i had a great time with my family it had been few months we went out together riding bicycle..

this whole weekend must thank cynthia and my beloved junior xiayu. for chatting with me..
i am sleepy, sleeping soon.. bye...

2009-04-04T20:10:00.006+08:00

had a great dinner with my family yea!!
today had been slacking the whole day...
let update with some pics very long nvr update pics..

yea my best 2 seniors above.. they treated me well, make me enjoyed band hahaha...

yeah anisa again she rocks...ahaha ..

nasyithah and me lol...i forget when is it ahahaha

this few years in band i realise i had alot fun and laughter haha... i am looking at a positive side already xiayu and xipei... thanks xiayu ahahaha... thanks pei lol both X's must thanks lol...
hahaha..

monday maths test gonna die but no matter must pass...haiz... lol there is no band.. so sian lor..
i want band practices haha...

2009-04-03T17:59:00.002+08:00

i am updating again...
after going one round of reading blog..
i realise many of us are disappointed over the syf results
reading jas blog make me realise something

i am not that kind who like to cry in sch no matter wat i usually control my tears not letting to let anyone know..

but ever since in band i realise there are really happy moments and sad moments ..

i cried 2 times just this year cause of band... first changin conductor second syf..haiz....

those happy moments i had was march holiday camp..

i dun want sec 4s step down haiz...

today after sch went J's wok & grill with xi pei , pyx and banana..

having alot fun lol... this lunch was filled with laughter hahah...

after that went home...

then use com lor..

read blogs...

my closest junior now is xiayu , i guess i have talked to her the whole afternoon .. having fun talking to her.. haha

i gtg liao off to swimming lessons.. bye

get well soon...

2009-04-03T15:18:00.003+08:00

i am being tagged by ming yue and xiayu dunno how long ago to do this quiz..

1. Besides your lips, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
LOL dunno..

2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
I feel sick and stress dun even feel like coming sch la..

3. Who was the last person who you took photo with?
Jasmine and Jin Yee

4. Would you consider to be spoiled?
No

5. Would you ever donate blood?
Yes why not? is a good thing haha

6. Have you have a good friend of an opposite sex?
Yes

7. Do you want someone dead?
yeah me i want to die...

8. What does your last text msg say?
Ok

9. What are you thinking of right now?
getting rid of my guiltiness and stress

10. Do you wish someone was with you right now?
yea some1 who can let me pour everything out of my heart

11. When did you go to sleep last night?
plus

12. Where did you bought your T-shirt that you are wearing now?
haha pe t-shirt, of course buy from sch la.

13. Is someone in your mind right now?
Yes my grandfather...i miss him..

14. Who is the last person who texted you?
Shalaine

15. People tagged to do this quiz?
1.Ming yue
2. Kelly
3.Jennefer
4.Cynthia
5. Jasmine
6.Yong Xuan
7.Xiayu
8.Michell
9.Jed
10. Zak

16. Who is 2 having a relationship with?
Girls Generation ahahahahha

17. Is 3 female or male?
Female

18. If 7 and 10 gets together will it be a good thing?
No..

19. What is 1 studying about?
abt pervert things i gues hahahaha

20.Is 4 single?
no

21. Say something about 5
LOL jasmine

22. What do you think about 3 and 6 together?
Jennefer and PYX perfect match u know?

23. Describe no. 9
talent in music

24. What will you do if 6 and 7 fight?
they dun even know each other lol

25. Do you like no. 8?
as a friend...

It has been the third day after syf it seems that i cannot let go the guiltiness i had in my heart..
haiz...

2009-04-02T20:12:00.003+08:00

SUPPORT CYNTHIA BLOGSHOP @ stylishyou.blogspot.com

SYF was yesterday.. our band got bronze and i am totally disappointed in myself..
after all i am a lousy trumpeter..with no musical talent.. i let down my senior, facing my senior make me guilty and sad , who taught me patiently, giving me alot encouragement... but in the end i spoilt the whole thing due to my nervousness.. i had great seniors but i am a lousy junior...

that was the worst day ever on just a day i cried and just kept crying.. my tears just flow out before syf and announcing results was worse....
haiz...

today even receive a treat from mdm tan, miss chua mdm hu and mr hamdi....
pizza hut lol..
the whole time was playing and toking to jas and jinyee...
i guess most of them had alot fun..

i seriously cannot take it anymore.. i really feel like letting go everything i had... sometimes even study... it came to a point test too many till i dun feel like studying.. i not that kind of hardworking and now i not sure wat can motivate me..
i am tired....even having a headache
tmr having test and test and test yet i have not study
project due tmr..
ahhhhhhhhhhhh! help me!!!

2009-03-17T11:09:00.002+08:00

hi back updating ..
last friday meet kelly haha she must come back often
she join our aseembly period ahaha.. sitting beside me as usual lol...

saturday went kukup

sunday came back

monday which is yesterday
had a maths remedial just doing some practices
then after sch went home.. had lunch
suppose to meet kelly , jenn. mingyue, pyx chandy and yose at 1..
kelly went early reach tm at 12.30 lol
so i went early too as she lonely. jenn have not left house...
we waited for the rest like from 12.45 to 1.40 for the rest..
i talked alot to kelly just keep on taliking and laughing....
till they come.
then we went buy tickets for drangonball dunno wat..
ming pyx and yose had lunch while the rest toking,,
did some making fun too LOL
walk around at 3.25pm we went in the cinema... quarreling which seat we wanna sit...
we so childish
i was sitting beside mingyue and pyx...
then i spilled the whole cup of pyx.. this movie didnt really concentrate much
yose was disturbing ming yue and me.. by pulling our ponytail.. take the cold cup put our face pester us say wanna change place then keep on scare ppl la.. so i misseed the begining part of dragonball LOl..

quite a nice in summary it might be a short outing with kelly and the rest but is quite
i truly enjoyed yesterday
thanks kelly for going too..
kelly next time let them reach first we come 1 hr later hhahahahahha....

2009-02-13T17:39:00.002+08:00

today was the cross country for bts..
i reached bedok reservior around 6.40.. i saw my band junior danny and yusof
we start chatting away while i was waiting for my friend.. they so funny la.. after that assmeble.. attendence taking blah blah...
this time dun need do duty but must run haha but better than doing duty.. the class tee shirt was making so hot.. but the colour was outstanding=)
after that we start walking , when everybody was like running i ming yue ju evelyn adela were walking lol when we see we were last few then we start running lol.. run and run catching up lol..
after that start seperating ming yue go run first nvr wait for me..
then run finish la surprisely i got a badge for a top 50.ming yue say she wanna get a medal.
after that quiz prize presentation...
our class won second prize among our batch was kinda shocked cause since sec 1 my class didnt win LOL...
after that saw miss tan dog so cute la...
then had lunch with ming yue jas jenn ju adela but jenn was like so sick didnt eat..
the three indo girls was like so quiet only me jas and ming yue toking.. then headed back home..

finally there was a day i slack using com, a nap doing nothing much
that was today haha..
house was quiet as my sis have cca remedial and tuition so i wass the only slacking person at home...
hehe aku malas=)

2009-02-06T18:29:00.005+08:00

today band had a bonding session with the sec1s quite fun.. playing ice breaking activites we were like sabotaging each other..haha

as for normal lessons kinda stress when we promoted to sec 3, i no longer could slack like last year... every lessons just play play..
this year must concentrate mann...
just finsih few tests. the number of test each week is HORRIBLE.
tmr will be Emaths then wed chem then thurs Amaths...
STRESS....AH!!!!!!!!!!!!
i starting to lose my interest in com
as my time for com is lesser... my updates are lesser compare from 2007 till now u will see a big diff..
and u will see my updating lesser and lesser..
sometimes i am stuck at maths for the whole night...

seriously i cannot take it anymore.. i amd stressed up by many things..
sometimes being the oldest is really a bad thing, u have to settle lots of stuffs..

i cannot stand u, smelly idoit asshhole seriously...
i try to respect u but u make me lose my respect for u

i pray to god.. please... let my grandfather live longer and recover faster...he is my beloved
let him recover faster so that he can go home.. hope all god may bless him...it had been 2 weeks already..
i love him who took care of me when i have chicken pox. who play with me when i was young..
when i was p6 i neglected him instead.. c how bad i was :'(
slowly i visit him more often when i was sec 1 my love for my grandfather grew each day..
and slowly to sec 2..
i just wish him live longer and healthier that all...

sometimes i really can't cope with a maths and i start did i take the wrong subject? i reflected... i guess i slack too much last year...
last year maths results was a disappointment to me..
i try my best sometimes even feel like giving up but i know i shouldn't... haiz what should i do???
i am afraid of my holiday homework test results a fail... please help me ahh....

Worst month ever....

2009-01-16T18:01:00.003+08:00

back updating..
i guess my update will not be regular anymore..
this first half month of jan 2009 sucks..
i expected life would be better...but nooo...

first sad happening.. is personal..
second, kelly transfer i still miss her.... lose a good friend... kelly is super cute and nice la...
third my conductor change... this is worst things.. i actually cried for it la..
i tried controlling but my tears just fell.. why must change la...why la..
it cause us being moody rather than bring our standard up...
sian la...

i wonder if i can perserve on.... no matter wat life still have to go on.. jiayou yeefen! u can do it!

2009-01-04T19:23:00.003+08:00

sry ppl for the long time no update...
i enjoyed year end holidays but is an end now..
is a new year, a new start, a new begining and a point whr i have to work really hard for sec
time files i am sec 3.. didnt realise that sian..
it is just a new start and i have a lot troubles...
so stressful..
sometimes being the youngest is really lucky

sch start le... saddening.. my best friend, KELLY transfer school *sob*
seriously sad...
haiz... kelly come back...
the friend who accompany me most lessons..
the one who teach me indo words...
the one who teach me maths too...
she is just such a great friend i had..
never regret knowing her..
kelly i miss u...
SHE TOTALLY ROCK!

i gonna stop here..
bye..

2008-11-29T23:19:00.003+08:00

back updating..

yesterday i was like playing non-stop mann
serious mann..

morning

we go jurong east swimming complex wif my "ah ma" family
lazy river ah

wave pool ah

Children play ground and slides

from 9.30 to 11.30

then lunch 12 to 1 plus

come home rest a while

"ah ma" came my house so i play wif her daughter her cute little daughter

there my "ah ma" and the little one i play wif LOL plus vernon the boy hahaha.

then play soccer from 3 to 7 like dat lol

play like siao la

then dinner late at eight mann..

then 8.30 play mahjong all the way to 11pm sia..

see hw much i enjoy LOL..

my hwks... sian

this holiday i had been going office or stay home play soccer.. so diego i know hw much u enjoy playing socce rex too^^

haha

lol

if not these two things i will go out wif jas aung and sam..

my new friends for the holidays LOL...

tmr is dec..

left one more mth to 2009.

i scare lol..

i am looking forward to 4th dec my hainan dao trip..

oh yeah guess wat time my flight it is 4.30 am in the morning.. cool right.

we must reach airport at 3...

after i come back i shall say more...

stop here bye

good night readers LOL

2008-11-25T20:53:00.001+08:00

Hey people i back updating again..
sry for the Long... no update cuz com spoil haha
going to update soon wif s survey mei ask me do haha.. bye

2008-11-25T20:43:00.005+08:00

tagged by Sylvia Mei :)

1. The rules of the game gets posted at the beginning.

2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.

3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time: 8.33 pm

Sisters: 4
Brothers:0
Shoes size: 5/6
Height: 159cm
Where you live: Singapore
Favourite drinks: Green tea and plain water..
Favourite breakfast: anything

Have you ever:
Been on a plane: Yes
Swam in an ocean: Float only LOL in life jacket mah..
Fallen asleep at school: almost fall asleep when i am attending boring lesson.. i know i pai kia haha
Broken Someone's heart: nope
Fell off your chair: obvious LOL
Waited for someone to call: Of course!
Saved emails: emails tat are interesting.. but not chain letters mann..

What is your room like: a bit Messy
What's right beside you: Comp, printer, waterbottle, tissue box, comb so many things lol...
What is the last time you ate: Orange

Ever had:
Chicken pox: Nope.. i lucky lol
Sore throat: yeah mann!
Stitches: dun have...
Broken nose: Dun have la

Do you believe in love at first sight: dunno sia?
Like picnics: okok..
Who was/were the last person you danced with: No one
Last made you smile: haha.. someone lol?
You last yelled at: my youngest sis

Today did you :
Talk to someone you like: yes..
my family kissed anyone: lol nope
Get sick: runny nose
Talk to an ex: No ex
Miss someone: yea.. my dad...
Eat: yeah duh la

Best feeling in the world: erm.. spending time wif my whole family..
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: yes, my 2 teddy bears from perth
Whats under your bed: another bed
Who do you really hate: someone...
What time is it now: 8.44pm

Random
Is there a person who is on your mind now: Yes
Do you have any siblings: yes
Do you want children: yea, but nt now
you smile often: yea if not life is boring
Do you like your hand-writing: nope.. i like some1 handwriting, kelly haha
Are your toe nails painted: nope
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: i Can slp any bed.. but i love my grandparents bed the most comfortable mann ^^
What color shirt are you wearing now: dark blue
What were you doing at 7.00 p.m.: eating fruits
When did you cry last: Today
Are you friendly: okok
Do you have any pets: yes, fish and turtle
Did you hold hands with the person who mean anything to you now: nope..
Do you sleep with the TV on: Nope
What are you doing right now: Quiz
Have you ever crawled through a window: Nope
Are you closer to your mother or father: Both
Who was the last person you cried in front of: some1 that cannot say
How many people can you say you've really loved: family and friends...
Do you eat healthy: depends lol
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex: ex? i dun even have one bf before..
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you: Yeah when i gt into bedok town sec sch.. i secretly cried LOL
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to: tok to friends

5 things I was doing 10 years ago: going sch.. playing catching all these haha..
5 things on my to-do list today: nth
5 snacks I enjoy: Anything that is nice
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire: book chalet organise bbq haha...
5 of my bad points: lazy, careless dunno sia..

i decided to do away the five ppl haha.. that all for today..

2008-11-07T22:22:00.005+08:00

RulesNumber 1. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new. question formulated by themselves .

Number 2. People who are tagged to do this quiz and cannot refuse . Those people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tag by continue this game by sending it to another person .

I HAD BEEN TAGGED BY JENNEFER, WEITING & JED

1. What is your favorite music?
so many kind hw to say...

2. Would you fall in love with a girl younger than you ?
no unless i am a les..

3. Which is more blessed ? Loving someone or being loved ?
of course being love lol...

4. List your 5 favorite things that you do.

1-Spending time wif my family and friends^^
2-Swimming
3-online chatting
4-watching dramas..
5-Going for my CCA

6. Is there anything that make you super happy ?
yeah... many things.. especially if i am able to play my trumpet well but now cannot la..

7. What makes you super angry ?
Feel like angry then angry LOL

8. What do you think of yourself?
a lousy friend... useless hahaha i have done a thing that is excellent la...

9. What is currently most important to you ?
family, friends, studies, cca

10. Are you in love?
yes wif my cca???!! ahahaha^^

11. Are you rather single and rich or married and poor ?
dunno LOL...

12. What do you dream of ?
dream abt excelling in studies get into poly haha...

13. Do you believe in love for eternity ?
NO it will nvr happen.. in life is either girl unfaithful or male.. but usuall male haha (no offense)

14. If you fall in love with 2 person, which will you choose?
forget abt those 2 person and carry on with my life =)

15. Who you hate most?
LOL??? nobody.. i am trying to love everybody..

16. Some one told you they liked you?
No hahahaha^^

17. If you're a celebrity , what you want most ?
dunno? but that will nvr happen

Why would i pity this 5 people?
because I had no choice then choose them to do this survey LOL plus i did this survey very long i wonder hw long u guys do ahaha...

1.ESTHER

2.HANNAH

3.SHERYL

4.MICHELL

5.JORDAN

2008-11-06T19:02:00.006+08:00

i updating again haha...
i am so happy getting into 3E1.. the whole day was a great day yesterday after knowing my results..
though able to take a maths, i am still afraid i wont do well...
but i am happy cuz i am wif my true,close friends...
haha like ming yue , kelly, jenn, rex, banana, diego.. they are the real true friends that i had...
i love them lol...
so i think i gonna love 3e1..
next year seriously no slacking sia...
i scare sia....
gonna be fun yeah must think positive..
but no matter wat i still love 1E1
1E1 2007 IS THE BEST!

today got band...
yeah as usual i play lousy.. no matter hw sound so shit la...
then go buy book
yeah next year book
all thick thick de
so next year carry luggage go sch haha^^
kidding book so ex la over 200 dollars..
then i go ah ma hse.... i simply love going my ah ma hse..
i go there took a bnap cuz i lvoe their hard bed so comfortable la
i shall stop i go play game ke byebye..

2008-11-03T20:02:00.002+08:00

yeah i am back
from Bintan.. but i lazy to upload pic
Bintan was fun many activities haha..
beach was nice
first day we reached we did nth much
all our meals was buffet like omg la..
first day played basketball,badminton and squash
squash was boring because i dunno how to play plus first time so boring la
basketball was fun haha cuz anyhow play with my sis and cousin anyhow aim..lol but fun.
badminton so-so lol in sg also can play
so overall basketball more fun..

second day
we join junior club,,
first we wanted archery but cannot too many ppl so we didnt go
we play basketball and badminton instead
haha basketball again...
then had water basketball even...
lol?
then had lunch
then we go kayaking i think soo...
fun but
i got sunburnt hurts like hell
till now is still hurt mann..

i shall continue tmr i am tired...

2008-10-31T22:39:00.003+08:00

yeah tmr going to bintan^^ haha...
so will no be updating..

i feel so bored so i decided update this
thank everyone who wish me hapoy birthday lol hahah..
seriously is so boring la...
thank u kelly for ur birthday present, wishes i love u la
thank u jenn wishing me so many times
thank u ming yue
thank u jasmine
thank u xi pei
thank u yong xuan
thank u lili
thank u faye
thank u jingyi
thank u ivan
thank u james
thank u shalaine and for the birthday present
thank u auntie joyce for the 2 cakes and ur angpow
thank u auntie karen for ur wishes
thank u kenley for ur wishes too
thank u auntie irene for ur wishes and u had been a great help lol
thaNK u shufang and wen
thank u chandy
thank u! terimahkasih! 谢谢！

2008-10-28T23:01:00.002+08:00

at first park, diego wanna transfer
after today they say they not transfering i was so happy ahha they not transfering hooray!!!!!
haha
todya woke up 7 plus...
breakfast shower go sch haha
meet ming yue and pyx
i have choosen already.. i scare i cannot go in..how sia?
go same class wif kelly ming yue jenn i want amaths??!!
kk
after that go home..watch a nice tawianese drama
then 2 shower leave house at 3.15 to bedok inter for band outing
yeah!!!!!
haha..
saw park and james
and park told me the good news haha
he not transfering (i am repeating again)
so happy!!!!!!
then slowly charis then welly then alex came and we set off..
cut short la meet yao shen ha yeong so yeong
then ride bicycle
butt hurts sia
long time no ride
then so yeong lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
search for her for 1 hr plus haiz...
thne had dinner with sir..
thanks sir for the dinner haha..
end off here bye!

2008-10-27T00:02:00.001+08:00

I started to play games lol to occupy myself.. haha but ppl help me lvl up not i LOL... short post..

2008-10-24T21:48:00.005+08:00

disappointing and disappointing.. i really hate my results...
i now dun even know wan to take DNT OR FNN if A maths cannot..
i shall thanks mrs yeo for great advice..
seriously she is nice.. haha didnt know that till parents meeting... i thought she was a strict cher...
Nvm.. thinking of taking DNT majourity say difficult... my head wanna burst..

2008-10-23T22:17:00.006+08:00

I SIMPLY LOVE KELLY! SHE ROCK!

SHE MAKE THE YEAR 2008 A NICE

ONE FOR ME!

HAHAHAHAHA!
i love her so muchh wahahaha!
not forgetting others like my local friends..
This year my first birthdya present was from her..

A BIG THANK U TO U KELLY!!!!

today results came out..
disappointing.
i think i cannot take amaths already..
when get report bk i was like.. yucks my maths.. :(
love my DNT results...
over is over liao...

WISHING EVERYONE

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

ENJOY!

2008-10-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

its been very long i didnt update..
reasons are firstly com spoil, second exams
toking abt my exams..
results came out..
disappointing i should have work harder..
no As :(

recently had a band camp
fun ah.........
the rest no comment...

2 days more and school closing..
gonna miss my foreigners friends like kelly and jennefer
i wont miss my locals friends because we will go out together..

i dun understand why?? some 1 tell me why?

2008-09-17T18:44:00.002+08:00

updates again..
exam just coming in 9 days??!! omg! not really started on revision..

i think 24 hours is not enough.. i didnt have much time to study.. lack of sleep
sometimes came back from sch with a headache. lesser time to read ppl blog.. lesser time to play
haiz..

going my grandma hse to study!! keeping away from com haha..
this week everyday have hwks.. no more slacking anymore..
bye going off now!

2008-09-13T22:10:00.002+08:00

lacking of updates.. lazy plus nth to update..
band getting more and more fun
study getting more and more stress
not really happy wif my term 3 results so i need to work harder and can get reward haha..
scary this year maths paper diff..
some1 say i update she go practice.
so u must go..
u never go.. must do somethign for me.. understand haha ps too fierce LOL..

2008-08-28T22:10:00.001+08:00

i got no mood to update.. sooner or later byebye

2008-08-22T21:58:00.008+08:00

updating..
as usual normal lessons after sch went 7-11
then went to band room..
for self practice but didnt practice much lah.
lazy after yesterday practice
yesterday practice was weird i my back ache
like aching everywhere no mood to play..
before that dsay we went vivo.
cher divded us into different grp same grp with kelly =)
then we went 3 diff shop when we came to a play thing. go see saw and the round thing which was fun ahaha. play with kelly and chandy then teacher called us come back.
then the rest of the grp came. we have to complete ws first.
then ming yue ask for permission to play then play the round thing agian haha..
so fun lah..

life is stressful i am thinking of quitting sla, but doing that i will let down nick what should i do? sometimes in meetin i feel lonely. in there i dont have any1 to tok not mention abt friends. i dunno wat to do...some1 tell me wat should i do. i am sorry nick if u are reading this.
i am not saying it sucks. we can have fun but i will nvr have because i dun have any1 to tok in meetings, on duty, i am just being ordered around. i know i not a responsible sl i hope to be one. it bring bad memories to me in meeting cuz i didnt want to c some 1 seeing her makes me feel soo.... nick if u are reading this,i sincerly apologise and if u read this already tok to me in msn. i dare not face i dont have the courage. i have my problems abt it...

a happy day! LOL =)

2008-08-18T21:33:00.006+08:00

as per normal lesosns after sch cip go hdb collect stuffs seem so eerie ahaha
then after that go band call ed tok to jas they tok dunno wat stuff we cannot sit there lol then after a while we join then ask jas can go can go
she say erm.. and yeah she go band
so happy lah
today band was fun
park was funny ahaha
band isnt that bad at all..
it was indeed a happy day
BAND ROCK mann!

stop insulting my cca i hate it okay... stop insulting chinese teacher she is quite nice actually if nto past students were not respect. u just hate chinese she is very good okay u sucker..i just cant stand it any more..
we are strangers we dunno each other anymore we cannot tok to each other u will so much different till i dunno how to communicate with u

a happy day!LOL

2008-08-18T21:33:00.000+08:00

2008-08-17T20:35:00.002+08:00

i decided to respect him since he had come le.
in fact he is nice just some bad points..
he had been my wish espcially my mum side since my dAD side had come i decided to respect him and not saying his bad points but look at his good point.

i know u guys wont know wat i am toking.. i am just writing to myself dun understand also nvm

2008-08-16T22:25:00.006+08:00

everything doesn't seem to go right in my life
the day 15th aug is the worst day
i failed my sci :(
band stuff
Sport leaders
not forgetting my english oral

talking abt english we did pairings
i partner chandy willingly
dun misunderstand watever like him or wat
but he rock
though ours isnt the best cuz we are first..
but i didnt regret partner with him..

this is my worst week

i dun wanna say anymore life suck..

2008-08-10T23:17:00.003+08:00

as usual tuition today
life really had been an unhappy
quarrel over just a small stuff
makes me feel unhappy
when i can i have my cheerful and happy childhood back
when i have no worries
i just hate being the oldest
i want being the youngest liek my sis then i wont understand adults
haiz
a new person is loved by me
that is HANNAH U ROCK MANN haha

2008-08-09T23:04:00.004+08:00

haha i am back updating
how is life guys?
my life..
SCH LESSONs
not great
but i realised when is our class most united
when we need to decorate our class for national day
we did it last mintue but WE WON! yeah!

BAND
had been great and i enjoy my time in there
just hope that i can improve my playing
though band maybe long hours and tiring as i reached home late on thursday i stil enjoyed..band is the first cca i have taken it very seriously if for primary sch
i joined i skipped
Band rock!

FAMILY
dad came back on tuesday after so long at china but he is flying on the sunday
yesterdya after the bishan thingy i rushed to my dad office for dunno wat
took a taxi
very wu liao LOl
nvm i enjoyed today
we went tm
i and my mum got down to check tickets for money no enough
then we walked around i bought a FILA bag
mum bought 2 earrings
i enjoyed most is with my family
I LOVE MY FAMILY they rock
second my friends
then band hahs

jas come back band?

band without frenchhorn think abt it
i know u are tired but u live nearby
some of us lived far like me
reach home already 7 plus going to 8
then zhenyuan he lived at tampines
u living one stop away from interchange only
some may hate band practice but they come too
at least wait till performance finish then u can do wat u want

FRIENDS
this is troubling me but i got no comment
i feel i like dunno u anymore
a stranger to u
not toking abt u jas

SLA
i dun belong to there but i will still do my best though i may feel like quitting but i dunno how to do
even so if i quit i feel so irresponsible
i dunno wat to do

sian

to my dear friend:
get well soon!
CHEER UP! =)
u look more sad than i do
i got nothing else to say take care of urself when u inside there...

bye good night!

2008-07-21T22:03:00.002+08:00

LOL
long time no update!
sch really sucks more and mroe!
really hate it
dunno wat kind of class
with some kind of ppl
no mood to update
KELLY GET WELL SOON!